


Days of forgotten feelings

by merionlilia



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Amnesia, Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Het, Best Friends, Childhood Friends, Denial of Feelings, Flashbacks, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, M/M, Model Oikawa Tooru, Mutual Pining, Oikawa Tooru's Knee Injury, Reunions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 12:24:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20815112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merionlilia/pseuds/merionlilia
Summary: At 26 Oikawa and Iwaizumi lead separate lives, one seeks his fortune as a model in Tokyo, the other puts down roots in Miyagi prefecture and is about to marry Keiko, his girlfriend. But destiny gets in the way, and the two are forced to draw closer because of an accident that makes the former captain of Aoba Johsai lose his memory. After Oikawa returns to his parents' home to recover, Iwaizumi has to face with his best friend the secret feelings they held in adolescence to finally understand what to do with their lives.





	Days of forgotten feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction set many years after the canon events. I don't have any medical knowledge about amnesia, I'm only using the subject as a plot device to explore some relational themes. The story focuses mainly on Iwaizumi’s thoughts and feelings.  
English is not my first language, but I hope you'll like the work!

Iwaizumi had just passed the station turnstiles when he noticed that his phone was vibrating in his jacket pocket.

"Keiko?" he thought, pulling the phone out, "at this time of the morning?"

He casually started the call and continued to walk so as not to be late for work.

"Hajime! Thank goodness, I found you immediately!"

Iwaizumi was puzzled.

"Mrs. Oikawa, what a surprise! What can I do for you?"

"Sorry if I call you at this time, but a disaster has happened!" The woman struggled to speak as if she were holding back from crying. The other was immediately alarmed. "It's about Tooru."

Iwaizumi tightened the phone and had to stop his pace.

"What’s happened?" he murmured, as a cold shiver ran down his spine.

"A car hit him yesterday. The ambulance took him to the hospital, unconscious, and when Tooru woke up, he couldn't remember who he was anymore. The doctors say he reported amnesia, they found our home number on his phone and called us. Now my husband and I are going to get him, we will keep our son at home for a while. I'm calling the people closest to him. I thought you wanted to be informed."

"Sure!"

"There's something else. We still don't know how serious the situation is, but I would like you to come to visit one day when he will return home...to help him."

"I'll do everything I can. I'm speechless. Please, when you come back, let me know," he hardly managed to say.

"Thank you," the woman murmured. "I knew I could count on you. You've always been there for Tooru."

And the conversation ended there, with him staring at his smartphone, shocked, while the office workers walked fast down the street, avoiding him.

How long hasn't he heard anything from Oikawa? Months? They were now twenty-six years old, had a separate life, and the enthusiasm of adolescence was a pale memory. The former captain of Aoba Johsai had ended up modeling in Tokyo, while he was living in Miyagi prefecture. And now the unthinkable had happened.

He arrived late for work and was scolded by the office manager, then the customers stared at him strangely for his distracted manner.

"Did you have a bad day?" Nakamura asked him at the end of the working hours, clapping him on the shoulder in encouragement. They had joined the company together, and both worked in the commercial sector of the large company.

"You can say that," Iwaizumi exclaimed.

"What are you going to do now? Are you going to see your beautiful girlfriend...Keiko?" the other hinted at with a mischievous tone.

"No, I'll eat ready-made food at my home and go straight to sleep."

"That’s my philosophy. I had to do so many walking tours today that now I only want the couch."

Once Hajime was in his apartment, he noticed a message. _"Tooru is at my parents' house. My mom says you can come whenever you want.”_

It was from Oikawa's sister. Iwaizumi wrote a brief answer.

In the litter bin, he still found the magazine that Oikawa jokingly gave him, the last time they had met. On page five, there were some of his shots, in which he sported beautiful clothes and a fake smile. Iwaizumi had looked at them more than he wanted to admit.

He ended up falling asleep on the couch, and relived their conversation, back then.

_"So now you're pursuing a modeling career?" Iwaizumi asked him._

_Tooru nodded._

_"I started to make some money during university, and apparently it's going very well. My former faculty classmates say that this job is perfect for me," he exclaimed._

_"And what do you think?" Hajime asked, unconvinced._

_"I don't care to be in front of the lens and to get compliments. However, I'm making every effort in it, and I like living in Tokyo. My knee has started to hurt, so...” Oikawa paused for a moment, then continued, “I had brilliant moments at the university's volleyball team, playing with a lot of strong teams and also against you. Now, I have to find other ways to live."_

_He partly believed that the other was right, but in his eyes, he read a solitude that he didn't like. He wanted to be near him every day._

That night he dreamed of the high school days when he and Oikawa were inseparable. He saw his friend eating his beloved milk bread during lunch break, or running towards him to hide from the girls of the fan club and then getting kicked. He saw Oikawa focused during a game. He saw the two of them in a moment of rest during volleyball training, sitting so close that their shoulders almost touched.

* * *

Iwaizumi decided to go to Tooru’s home (or rather, where he once lived) two days later.

Keiko had invited him to dinner but had to refuse. He told her that he would explain the situation later. Before seeing Tooru in person, he didn't want to say a word to anyone. With a sigh, he rang the doorbell. Mrs. Oikawa peeked out.

"How nice to see you, Hajime! Come in!"

"Mom, did a guest come in?" Iwaizumi immediately recognized that voice, then Tooru appeared. His brown eyes were staring at Hajime curiously. He had a bruise on his forehead, but otherwise, he looked fine.

"Hi, Oikawa," he greeted.

"Iwa...Iwa-chan..."

Mrs. Oikawa put a hand over her mouth, tears in her eyes, and Iwaizumi gasped. "You remember something!" he exclaimed, frowning.

Tooru seemed sorry for his mother's violent reaction, then shook his head.

"No, I'm sorry…but I immediately associated you with this name."

He approached Hajime and took his hand. At the bottom of his eyes, there was a sadness that almost made Iwaizumi cry too.

"I understand, then get this in your head," he declared. "I am Hajime Iwaizumi. We have known each other since we were children and we attended school together."

The other nodded.

"Be patient with me, Iwa-chan," Oikawa said. "I'm trying to recover the pieces of the various memories to bring them together. Would you like to come to my room and talk a little?"

They sat on the floor, one in front of the other, and Iwaizumi almost seemed to take a dip in the past, when he used to do his homework within those four walls.

"You know," Oikawa began, adjusting his bangs, "when I woke up in the hospital, I didn't remember either my father nor my mother. Then my sister and my nephew were introduced to me. I didn't recognize any of them, yet, being in company, a sense of familiarity grew in me, as if I knew they were part of my life. But you...why did I call you Iwa-chan? "

"Because you always called me that."

"If I recognized you right away, it means you are special to me."

Hajime blushed suddenly.

"You know, we were best friends."

"Now that I've lost my memory, aren't we best friends anymore?" Oikawa noted with a smirk.

"I like to think that we still are," Iwaizumi corrected himself. "Did someone tell you that you played volleyball up to university?"

Oikawa nodded. "Yup. How was I in your opinion?"

"You were known as the best setter of the prefecture. We were in the same team during middle school, at Kitagawa Daiichi, and also in Aoba Johsai high school. I should still have DVDs of high school tournaments."

"I would like to watch them."

"One day, you can come to my apartment and take a look.”

“What can you tell me about university days?” Oikawa asked. He seemed very focused and receptive as if he wanted to cherish everything he was told.

“You were also very famous at that time, but then you stopped playing volleyball. We were in different teams and used to face each other sometimes. Umh, listen, what about your job? "

"It seems that my agency has already been called by my parents. If I’m a model, I can't pose with my swollen face, what would it look like?"

"Idiot, the important thing is that you didn't hurt yourself seriously! You could die!" Iwaizumi shouted, taking him by the collar of his shirt and bringing their faces close together.

Oikawa smiled. "Iwa-chan, are you my mom?"

Iwaizumi had a serious look on his face.

"Are you alright?"

The other lost his grip. "You always told me that," he whispered, grimly. "You should do something about that head of yours that became emptier than it was before."

"Don't worry. I want to take back all the lost memories. The doctors said they will re-emerge, but it will take time. "

"Were you alone in Tokyo? Didn't you have a girlfriend or something?" Iwaizumi asked.

Something like that. Who knows, maybe a boyfriend.

"As far as I've been told, no. Iwa-chan, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes, I have. In truth, I'm getting married in four months."

A flash of astonishment sparked in Tooru's eyes.

"Umh, congratulations."

Hajime came out of the house with a strange sensation in his throat, as if he was burning inside and struggling to push back the tears.

"As I imagined, I'm far too happy to see him again," he thought, hastily moving away as if he could escape from his agitation.

* * *

"So, are you telling me that your best friend at school has lost his memory?"

Keiko looked at Iwaizumi with a touch of disbelief. The two found themselves spending the evening in a restaurant, too tired to cook after the workday.

"Yes, I can hardly believe the whole situation too," he admitted, bringing a piece of tofu to his mouth.

She absently fiddled with the necklace around her neck. Hajime gave it to her just before he proposed her to marry him.

"It must be a terrible experience to lose all the memories."

"Yeah, but it's still the same guy. It's strange seeing him after so long."

"In what sense?" she asked.

"It's been a long time since we hang out like we used to. After graduating, we promised each other to keep in touch and made it through during university, even though, each had chosen a different path. There were friendly games, tournaments, and we went out to clubs together. We still had fun as two kids. Well, I guess we had no idea what the real world was."

Keiko stared at him sympathetically, then reached out to squeeze his hand.

"I think you missed him. Enjoy the fact that he came back here, stay close to him. In my opinion, it’d be good for you."

Hajime wanted to deny, but he knew his girlfriend was right. Since he had seen Tooru, he did nothing but think of him.

After walking her home, Iwaizumi enjoyed the evening air on the street. He looked at the phone, then went to look for a particular number.

"I'm Hanamaki Takahiro. Who is he talking?"

"I’m Iwaizumi."

"Vice-captain. How are the wedding preparations going?"

Iwaizumi smiled. "Forget it. I'm calling to tell you that Oikawa is back."

"Great, we can organize a dinner after work. I am in charge of informing Matsukawa."

The other sighed.

"Wait, it's not that simple" and told him about the situation so far.

Hanamaki remained silent, then he said, "Seriously?" 

"Yes, he needs us."

"After all, we were a team."

"Call Matsukawa, so we can organize to see each other. How long haven't we been going out to dinner together?"

"You are right. I will keep you updated."

* * *

_"Hey, Iwa-chan, since today is our training day off, would you like to go around sports shops?" Oikawa asked him in a lively voice, grabbing him from behind for both shoulders and resting his chin there._

_"Don't you have to go out with your girlfriend?" Iwaizumi asked more rudely than usual._

_The other fell off him._

_"There isn't a girlfriend anymore. I was dumped," he admitted._

_Iwaizumi's eyebrows arched. "Ah, she probably couldn't take it anymore!"_

_"Maybe."_

_"Anyway, are you okay?" Hajime's tone became more serious._

_Oikawa shrugged. "If you are by my side, I feel better already."_

Iwaizumi heard the sound of the bell and ran to open the door. Oikawa was on the other side, in a long coat and his hair was ruffled by the wind.

"Good evening."

"Come in. Did you have trouble finding your way?"

The other shook his head as he undressed, then looked around and narrowed his eyes.

"This house is a disaster," he commented frankly.

"I cleaned it before you arrived!"

Oikawa raised an eyebrow.

"I want to see what happens after the marriage. You look like a single adrift, Iwa-chan."

He sat on the sofa, waiting. On the table were placed the two DVDs of the old games, he picked one up, studying it.

"Aoba Johsai against Karasuno, Interhigh, third year," Iwaizumi said, sitting next to him. "Do you want to see it?"

Oikawa had already given it to him.

"Your spikes are exceptional!" Oikawa exclaimed suddenly, while they were watching the game. "We seem to be very in sync, it's great!"

Iwaizumi said nothing, but smiled, looking at the screen.

"The setter of the other team..." the other muttered.

"Are you starting to remember something?"

"He's familiar to me. At one point we talked...and he has got an irritating face."

"This is Kageyama Tobio. In junior high, you were his senpai and almost punched him."

"Yes, I have a vague feeling."

"Our team's number 2 is Issei Matsukawa, and number 3 is Takahiro Hanamaki", Iwaizumi added. "I said around that you came back. We'll probably see them again soon."

After the game was over, they sat on the couch, drinking a beer.

There was a curiosity that Hajime could not take off, but he did not know how to start the topic.

"Come on, speak Iwa-chan," Oikawa encouraged him. "I know you want to ask me something."

"Isn't it weird for you to be in my company without remembering who I am?"

Oikawa laughed.

"You are not a stranger. It's hard to describe the feeling, but I'll try”, the young man ran the tongue over his lower lip, concentrating. "I feel at ease with you, as if we had known each other for a lifetime, which is true. It is as if I know perfectly on an unconscious level what you're like and how I should behave with you.”

“Well, it makes me feel better to know that it wasn't just my impression.” Iwaizumi smiled.

“My parents pulled out the old photo albums for me to see them, and you were in some photos too,” the other continued. “I'm struggling to remember. When I sleep, I have confused dreams about specific events of the past. I seem to grasp their meaning, but in the end, they often slip away again. I see images in my mind when I'm with my family. Yesterday, it occurred to me that I used to accompany Takeru to play volleyball when he was in elementary school. Is it weird, isn't it?"

"I suppose it's a good sign," commented Hajime.

"Now Takeru goes to our same high school, do you know? He plays as a wing spiker. My nephew is a good boy."

"Yes, he is", Iwaizumi handed him the other DVD. "Here, take this home with you. Aoba Johsai against Shiratorizawa, the next game to the one we watched today. Maybe it will help you collect some more memories and clear your mind. "

Tooru took it, and their fingers touched. "Thank you, Iwa-chan," he said. After a pause, he asked, "How did you meet your girlfriend?"

Hajime almost spat out the sip of beer he had just taken.

"And what does this have to do with the topic?" he exclaimed.

"Nothing, I'm just curious."

"No special occasion. A co-worker of mine, Nakamura, invited me to a group blind date, and there I met Keiko. We both wanted to settle down. We've been dating for six months. She is the first woman I managed to have a relationship with. "

Oikawa cocked his head to one side.

"Seriously?"

"You were always in the way!" the other exclaimed, biting his tongue after letting those words escape.

Tooru seemed even more perplexed.

"My sister told me that I had more than one girlfriend in high school. Couldn't you have one? Or maybe do you use me as an excuse?"

"Idiot," snapped Hajime, and rushed at him. Oikawa's body bent back under his weight, and Iwaizumi's lips fell on his neck. When Hajime noticed his compromising position, he jumped up.

"Iwa-chan, are you alright?" Tooru asked, slightly blushing, and with his hand, he went to protect that near-touched part.

Hajime ran a hand over his face and groaned.

"I think...I am a bit drunk at the moment."

Tooru immediately composed himself and, standing up, looked at the clock on the wall and patted the other on the shoulder.

"I go, otherwise I risk losing the last train. You'd better go to sleep."

"All right," muttered the Hajime, looking away.

He accompanied him to the door, telling him to pay attention along the way, and fell into the blankets, still cursing himself for the gesture he had let himself go. He was so close he could have kissed Oikawa! He would never have done it, would he? Alcohol was intoxicating his head.

He had behaved in that way before, oh, yes. He suddenly saw his younger self holding back from kissing Oikawa every time his friend had shown off one of his sincere smiles. Those smiles were only for him. He was secretly in love back then, and it was useless to deny it.

An hour later, the sound of the intercom tore him from sleep with such violence that it made his hair stand on end. He opened the door warily, in case there was an attacker, but found himself again in front of a cold Tooru.

"I missed the train."

He insulted his friend, but without slamming the door in his face. Obviously, he also gave Oikawa the bed.

* * *

It was evening, Iwaizumi and Oikawa were walking together.

“I have to go to the hospital to have myself checked in two days”, Oikawa explained. “I will go to Tokyo. Some of my friends and colleagues called me, I want to meet them after the medical exams so that they can help me to remember. Then, I will come back here again for some time more. A lot of memories emerged now, especially from my childhood and from school time. My family is very pleased with that, of course. However, I feel it’s not enough.”

Oikawa let out a frustrated moan, and Iwaizumi patted his shoulder.

“You will make it. I know you can.”

They smiled at each other.

In front of the door of the yakiniku restaurant, they found Hanamaki and Matsukawa, who waved their hands in greeting.

"What a pleasure to see you!" Matsukawa exclaimed, smiling.

"Good evening, guys,” Iwaizumi said. "Are we going in?"

The two nodded, and the group went to take place inside the restaurant.

"We heard about your accident from Iwaizumi, Oikawa, and about the loss of memory," Matsukawa began, once they were comfortably seated.

“Iwa-chan showed me old game footage. I saw all the DVDs in his possession,” Tooru explained. “Even though I still have a lot of holes, I begin to remember you, Mattsun, and also you, Makki."

The other two's faces lit up.

"How nice! We were worried", Hanamaki commented.

Everyone felt more at ease and began to converse pleasantly, cooking the meat in the meantime.

"What good times we had had in high school!" Hanamaki exclaimed. "Even if we never went to the nationals, we were the best volleyball team in the world. "

"You can say that," Iwaizumi said, smiling.

"There was only one bad episode...Oikawa, I don't know if you remember that."

Tooru looked at him quizzically. "Go ahead."

"Oh, maybe I know what you're referring to," Matsukawa exclaimed.

“We were in our third year, just before the spring tournament, and you and Iwa started fighting furiously in the middle of the training. Nobody would have ever expected it."

"How did the coaches react?" Oikawa asked, watching Iwaizumi as he bowed his head.

"They sent you away to cool off. After that, you didn't talk to each other for three days, and Matsukawa and I had to make you two reconcile because otherwise, the team would have broken up. The captain and the vice-captain must have good relations before the tournament."

"Iwa-chan, why did we fight?"

"I don't know!" the other exclaimed, while a wave of uneasiness was invading him. "You behaved oddly, you didn't want to talk to me about what you felt, and you were playing like crap."

"Umh, I understand", Tooru responded, arranging a strand of hair with nervous fingers. "Come on…talk to me about other things, let's enjoy the evening."

"Next Sunday, we are going to organize a match with the neighborhood team," Hanamaki recounted. "Would you like to come to play?"

"Sure!"

"Iwa, don't you stop at work?"

Hajime shook his head. "I would like very much to take part. I haven't in a while."

"It will be fun."

“Will it be your first game after the accident, Oikawa?”

“Yup”, Tooru chuckled. “When I keep the volleyball in my hands, I feel a sense of familiarity. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens when I play in a team. It will be very interesting.”

After eating, the four left the room, and Matsukawa said, "I have a car. If you want, I can give everyone a lift."

The others were happy to accept.

"I want to be the last to go home, Mattsun, don't worry," Oikawa said. “I want to talk a little more.”

“Okay, I will be happy to do that.”

Iwaizumi returned home alone. With hands in the pockets, he thought, “Who knows what had gotten into Oikawa that day when we fought? I’m still curious.”

His mind returned to school days.

_Oikawa slept at his house during the night, it was very common since they were children. The next morning, his friend was avoiding his eyes all the time. When they were at the gym, Tooru was no longer able to make those tosses that allowed him to spike to his maximum potential, but his intervention hindered Hajime. The other struggled to keep up with him._

_"Trashykawa, what's going on today?"  
_

_"Nothing", Oikawa said, blushing._

_"I wouldn't say the same by seeing your face."_

_He couldn't deceive Iwaizumi. The next toss went to Kindaichi and succeeded perfectly, and his serves did not lack in power and precision. _ _Yet all the tosses for Hajime were completely wrong. _

_He could see Oikawa wiping the sweat on his forehead, frustrated._

_"Hey, Oikawa, is there something wrong between you and Iwa?" Matsukawa asked suddenly._

_"I wish I knew too," said Iwaizumi angrily, coming closer to Tooru. "Is it possible that for half an hour you are avoiding tossing the ball to me?"_

_Oikawa said nothing, so Iwaizumi took him by the uniform shirt._

_"If I did something wrong, tell me, but don't be silent!"_

_The other grabbed his arm and pushed him away violently. Hajime's eyes widened. He felt confused, his chest was hurting. _

_"Stay away from me, Iwa-chan, I swear to you that today is not a good day", Oikawa shouted._

_Hanamaki promptly put himself between them._

_"Calm down, you two!"_

* * *

"Hello everyone," Iwaizumi greeted, entering the gym next to Oikawa.

"Good morning," Hanamaki replied. He was already on the court alongside Matsukawa.

Ten more faces stared at them.

"Oikawa-senpai, I can't believe you are here!"

A young, light brown-haired man broke away from his companions and approached him.

"Yes, Yahaba, that's me," Tooru said with a bright smile.

"So today we'll engage a setter vs setter competition."

Oikawa nodded.

"Although I have to admit it's been a while since I played", he added casually.

Iwaizumi introduced him to the members of the group. Some of the guys were former students of weak teams with whom they had played during high school.

Then the group split into two teams, and those who ended with Yahaba looked worriedly at the other side of the court, behind the net. Hanamaki was the only one who stood calm among them. Iwaizumi glanced at Oikawa, and the other returned his gaze, resolute.

After the first serve, made by their team, the ball was received by the opponents. However, it returned in their half of the court.

"Oikawa!"

Iwaizumi saw the ball coming towards the setter for the second contact, and Tooru’s body moving spontaneously. He knew what he had to do.

"Iwa-chan!"

He threw the ball to the right height for Hajime. A perfect toss, and on Oikawa’s face there was a wild smile. Iwaizumi felt that the excitement was inflaming the blood in his veins. He spiked the ball hard, making the first point.

When the ball touched the ground, the two immediately sought each other.

"I had missed so much playing with you," Iwaizumi exclaimed, unable not to smile. "I knew you couldn't forget volleyball."

"It was incredible, Iwa-chan. Let's make other points."

In the end, they won the first game, and also the next.

"Although Oikawa never played with that formation, he got used to the players around him too easily," Yahaba said and snorted.

Hanamaki patted his shoulder. "You did a great job anyway."

Tooru wiped the sweat from his forehead with a towel when he looked at a figure standing with his back against the wall. He took Iwaizumi by the arm, beckoning to him.

"That's Kitagawa Daiichi's coach", he exclaimed, and together they met him.

"Iwaizumi Hajime and Oikawa Tooru," the man said with a smile. "How you have grown up. They told me there would be a group meeting this morning, and I decided to come to watch the game. I didn't expect to see two of my brightest students play, especially you, Oikawa."

"I'm staying in Miyagi for a bit."

"Ah, so then will you go away?"

Oikawa didn't answer.

"It was a coincidence to see you today. I'm curious to know how you are. Would you like to talk?"

"Of course."

"I'm going to change my shirt and wait for you outside," Iwaizumi said, leaving them alone.

A quarter of an hour later, he saw Tooru reach him. They greeted and thanked everyone, then they walked together.

"I'll walk you home."

"You don't have to do it," Oikawa reassured.

"I am pleased to. I want to be with you."

Tooru blushed.

"I still haven't asked you how the visit to the hospital went," Hajime continued.

"Well, some test results are still missing," said Oikawa, "but as far as memory is concerned, it seems that I have clear what happened in the various phases of my life. I don't feel as lost as before! I will soon be able to return to my job. The people whom I work with said they are waiting."

"So, you will return to Tokyo. The coach what- "

Hajime could not finish his question that his phone started ringing.

"Forgive me," he apologized, before answering. "Keiko, tell me everything."

Oikawa lowered his head.

"Are they going to come to your house next week? Okay, I'll be there. Let's talk about it later. Yes...I love you too.”

Hajime interrupted the call with a grimace.

"Is there a problem?" the other man asked.

"Keiko's parents are going to visit her soon, and I'm invited too. They probably want to talk about marriage, but you should know that they don't like me very much."

"Why on earth?" Oikawa exclaimed.

Iwaizumi shrugged.

"I don't know, maybe would they prefer a boyfriend like you? You could behave perfectly in front of two demanding parents, whereas I may be a bit straightforward. I end up saying something wrong."

"You are as perfect as you are, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi looked at him intently and smiled. "Thanks. You are the best friend I could ever want by my side."

"That's not true," Oikawa cut him off uncomfortably.

Hajime stopped walking, confused. "Why do you say this?"

Oikawa pursed his lips.

"Because I'm going to tell you some selfish things, and I don't know how you'll react."

They stopped walking. Iwaizumi felt cold inside because the expression on Oikawa's face did not bode well, but he let the other continue.

"After the dinner in the yakiniku restaurant, I was the last to go home and asked Mattsun how he saw the relationship between you and I. I needed more information, something was missing in my mind. Mattsun said that everyone envied our close friendship during high school, that we went to watch movies and shopping like a couple in love.”

“He said…what?” Iwaizumi spat, blushing.

Tooru ignored his friend’s comment.

“He also noted that you care deeply for me, that you are often looking at me even now. After that conversation, I went home and remembered why we argued during our third year. It's true, I was acting strangely. The night before, something has happened.”

“What has happened?”

Oikawa hesitated for a moment, then recounted, “We were at your house…I was talking with you about the spring tournament in bed, but you didn’t respond to me. I noticed you were already in your sleep, I got close to you and, Hajime…that night you said you loved me."

Iwaizumi's face became pale.

"You were asleep, so I’m not sure how to consider the confession, but there's more. You spoke those words right after I…kissed you. I have taken advantage of the fact you were sleeping. I haven't been acting fine, I know. You were so handsome at that moment I could not resist."

Oikawa looked him straight in the eyes.

"Tooru..." Iwaizumi's voice was sad.

"I've never been interested in the girls of the fan club”, Oikawa confessed. “What did they know about me? They only saw what they believed I was, but I've never pretended with you, except that time, and I'm not going to do it now. I have always loved you. Iwa-chan, I know you're getting married and that it’s the worst time for you to answer me but…was it true that you loved me then?"

Hajime was trembling and realized no answer couldn’t come from his throat, which was completely dry. A crow croaked over their head, then left.

"I understand," Tooru said, trying to find the strength to smile. "It doesn't matter anymore. I'll see you."

He started to walk steadily and then disappeared.

* * *

Three days had passed, and Iwaizumi had no idea what to think. Tooru's confession had come as unexpected as a slap in the face.

"If he hadn't returned home, then none of this would have happened," he said to himself, trying to feel annoyance, but was that what he wanted? Did he seriously want to go on with his life in ignorance?

He tried to think of Keiko and her happy face after receiving his marriage proposal. They would get married, they would have a child, maybe two, probably her parents would finally accept him. He thought she had even encouraged him to approach Tooru after a long time.

"Am I repaying her this way?"

Because yes, if he had to go with his gut, he would have wanted to run to Oikawa's house and kiss him. He wanted to tell that he loved him.

His friend shouldn't have kissed him secretly in the middle of the night.

He was angry with Tooru because he had tried to convince everyone he was in love with his girlfriends. At the same time, he could understand that Oikawa had feared to expose himself. He has always felt the same. Losing him would have been too painful, and a refusal by the other would also have destroyed their chemistry in the volleyball court and, consequently, affected the whole team.

It was a matter of time. Tooru would have returned to Tokyo, and everything would have gotten back to normal. They could forget everything.

"Shit, what a mess!" he thought, and the fact that he was at that moment at his girlfriend's house didn't help, moreover in her bed.

The bathroom door opened, and Keiko went out.

"Here I am, Hajime," she whispered as she sat on the bed.

He remained silent. Meanwhile, she lay down beside him and rested the head on his chest. Her long black hair tickled his cheek as she leaned over to kiss him on the chin.

A wave of anxiety invaded Iwaizumi.

"Hajime?"

"Umh?"

"Shall we…?

"Okay," he murmured, brushing her side, unconvinced.

Keiko searched his tongue in his mouth and brought him on top of her, but she realized how unreactive the other was, so she tried to stimulate him, putting her hands inside his shirt and running her fingers over his bare skin.

Hajime pulled her away abruptly.

"Forgive me, I can't do it tonight."

Keiko sat up.

"What's wrong? You have a face!"

He tried to touch him, but he pushed her hand away.

"Sorry, Keiko, I...I'm not sure I can do this."

"It's not a problem if we don't have sex tonight."

"No, I'm not talking about sex, I'm referring to the marriage."

He saw her tremble.

"What? Don't you want to marry me anymore? Hajime...what's going on? Why are you bringing out with this story now?”

He saw her bite her lip to hold back the tears.

"You seemed so happy...if it's for something I did, I..."

"No, it's not you," he said with the heart in his throat as she cried. "It's my fault, I'm an idiot. I don't know what to say, I just have to get out of here now."

He jumped off the bed and ran to the apartment door, closing it behind him. He leaned the back against the hallway wall, dropped to the floor and covered his face with his hands.

* * *

"Hi, Hanamaki."

"Iwaizumi! What can I do for you?"

"Do you know if Oikawa is still in town?"

"Of course, it surprises me that you don't know it. Maybe it's because you haven't talked to him for a week, as he told me."

Hajime sighed on the phone.

"We had a moment of tension. I'll explain it to you in person. Ah, I'm not getting married anymore, if you're interested to know."

"Seriously?" Hanamaki's tone of voice was tense.

"Yeah, I broke up with Keiko. I had a change of heart and, although we tried to resolve the issue later, there was nothing left to do."

"Does Oikawa have anything to do with this?"

Hajime held his breath.

"I could bet on it. I have the feeling that you have messed up and hope that you two can talk as soon as possible. Let me know."

* * *

In Oikawa's house, many of the lights were off, except for those in Tooru's room. Iwaizumi took a breath of air, then pressed the doorbell button. The time spent at the door seemed an eternity until he saw Oikawa, already in his pajamas, open the door.

"Iwa-chan..."

"Can we talk?"

"I don't know."

"Come on," Hajime urged. "I also blew out my wedding, at least give me a chance to explain myself!"

"What?" the other exclaimed so loudly that the whole neighborhood must have heard him. He pushed his friend inside and closed the door. "In what sense did you blow up the marriage?"

"I told Keiko I couldn't marry her."

"Let's sit in the living room. My parents went to the hot springs, we're alone."

Hajime nodded, and once they were comfortable, he saw the other staring intently.

"You have broken her heart," Tooru commented.

"Yes, it's true, but do not preach to me. You have broken more hearts than I have!"

"Maybe," Oikawa said with an embarrassed smile. "It's nonsense to talk about broken hearts right now, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi sighed.

"Tooru, I did not expect your confession. I did not know that during the night I had spoken those words, but I don't doubt at all what you told me because it is true. I loved you when we were teenagers."

Oikawa held his breath.

"I was jealous of the girls who were with you, yet I couldn't get a romantic life, not even at university. Then, after graduating, we started getting away, and I put my heart at rest. I realized that I should have moved on."

"And then I reappeared," Oikawa commented with difficulty.

Iwaizumi nodded.

"You came to remind me that I couldn't forget my love for you and that I should be honest with myself."

In silence and with watery eyes, Tooru approached him.

"Hajime, these are the nicest words I've ever heard."

"Idiot."

Iwaizumi laughed, trying to hold back the tears.

Oikawa put his lips to Iwaizumi's, and they both sighed with pleasure at that contact.

"Let's go to my room," Tooru then whispered after the kiss.

He took him by the hand, and they crossed the threshold. The futon was already laid, the two sat on it immediately.

They undressed in silence, looking at every piece of skin that was uncovered, to see how their bodies had changed. Iwaizumi took Oikawa's face in his hands and kissed him again.

"I can't believe I have you in my arms," he admitted, with a smile.

"I thought I lost you."

Tooru ran his hands lower and lower until he stroked Hajime between his legs and drank every sigh that came from his partner's mouth.

"Touch me too," Oikawa pleaded.

Iwaizumi immediately ran to give him relief.

Gasping, they pushed their heated skin against each other, but without haste, trying to absorb every sensation coming from their body and the beloved's expression lost in pleasure. Then, inevitably, they were overwhelmed by a fulfilling climax.

As they tried to catch their breath, they looked at each other satisfied and settled themselves under the covers.

"I can't wait to go all the way," Oikawa said. "It was so good."

He stroked his cheek with the fingertips.

"Me too. It would be nice if you came to sleep at my apartment one day before leaving for Tokyo. "

"I won't leave anymore."

The other looked at him in surprise.

"But the job?" he asked.

"I decided to quit," Oikawa explained, shrugging. “As I recovered, I realized that, whereas the memories from the years preceding my transfer appeared bright and full of details, those of recent times mean little to me. I'm not satisfied with what I've done or with the people I've met. And then, during Sunday's game, there was Kitagawa Daiichi's coach. He told me that he was looking for a young coach to help him at school. He considers me the most suitable person for the role, so I accepted."

"Tooru, it's fantastic!" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

"Is it?" the other said enthusiastically. "My knee has started to hurt, so I couldn’t expect to play professionally for a long time, but volleyball has always been the only important thing in my life, along with you."

Hajime smiled.

"So, can we start dating?" he asked.

"I thought it was obvious, Iwa-chan!"

* * *

A year had passed since the accident. Hajime took off his jacket at the entrance of the new house he had bought with Tooru six months before.

The lights in the living room were still on, and he saw the boyfriend sitting cross-legged on the sofa, the sound of the television on in the background. Oikawa wasn't following the comedy program on the screen but was intent on scribbling notes with glasses on his nose.

"Welcome back," he said finally, smiling. "How was dinner with colleagues?"

Iwaizumi hugged him.

"Good, but, now that I'm here, I feel even better," said the other, and leaned to kiss him. "How about you? Are you thinking about the formation of the team? "

"Yes, but I'm done," Oikawa replied, then put the papers aside, took off his glasses and rested his head on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"We are invited to my sister's house tomorrow."

"Umh, okay."

It often happened that they visited their families together. Everyone knew about their relationship, and nobody was upset about it. Hajime thought that he was more surprised by Hanamaki and Matsukawa's imperturbability in front of the news as if they expected it.

"I'm tired, shall we go to bed?" Oikawa murmured, ruffling the other's short hair.

Hajime nodded.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading to the end!


End file.
